The Children's Group Therapy Association: Newsletter

The normative adolescent developmental feelings of isolation, pressure to fit in to a peer group and identity confusion are infinitely more complex for teens who grow without the traditional mirror of parents from which to draw the most simple of conclusions: this is why I am small, or can dance. We tend to invent ourselves and in so doing may need more support in more creative ways, so that we may discover who we may wish to become. There is no need to reach adulthood without discovering with peers, that you may not be as alone as you think. These kids can then, on their own terms, define and redefine themselves in relation to a larger whole, thereby remaining faithful to the normative teen mantra: I am a unique design and please let me be like all my friends. No teen that I have met relishes the thought of speaking one on one to an adult or even in a peer group about why she is 'different' or 'problematic'. I feel that this is why many therapy situations or 'rap groups' are difficult arenas into which to draw struggling teens. However, if kids can have challenging and creative, active strategies in which to safely explore their emerging identities, their questions and emotions, then the experience can be one of building resilience and a protective factor for challenges to come. Perhaps even a way to gain a sense of mastery and to re-frame traumatic past experiences. The relationship between any teen and the arts as a vehicle for self expression and discovery, is a natural one and I submit that for this culture it can be a vital tool for healing.

The strength of this culture has too long been overlooked. Think: You have lived in ten homes, perhaps been abused, categorically rejected by those that society prompts us should love you unconditionally, then you are thrust into puberty and a peer group that may not understand why you need the social security number of someone's mom so that you could attend the sleepover. Despite this, you are still getting up each morning, and trying to express to the world you are and what you need. This is nothing short of miraculous resilience. By teenhood, kids yearn for labels to define themselves and their worlds, so that even if the labels are ones that don't fit or suit them, they may unconsciously keep them in order to preserve some piece of their shifting self image. I want to give this culture other choices and perspectives with which to view their realities, or more accurately, provide a literal and figurative safe, structured container where they can show each other the choices. If you had to chameleon yourself so that you fit into any given situation, then creative self expression becomes more than a skill: it is a survival technique.

The Lost and Found Company is a structured forum that allows young people to tell their stories and to re-story themselves in creative ways; a place where they can build trust while being offered concrete skills in the artistic techniques that will afford them knowledge of how to most effectively present themselves and their truths without becoming buried or overwhelmed. Theater, which is inherently presentational and group oriented, creates a format for sharing focus, leading and following, encouraging the exploration of all facets of self. Kids can break with familiar roles, taking large or small emotional risks in structure that will both support their attempts and afford them space to do this on their own terms. Writing is another natural mode of personal growth to which teens gravitate. In this company they take the often shattering self discovery and emotion that lives within the pages and give it Voice in a way to gain pride over stories that may haunt their inner lives and ameliorate their self efficacy. These young people are given 'expert status' on an inmate topic, they are teachers and wisepeople. This dynamic addresses the adolescent necessity of being an active part of a group, yet standing alone as an effector of change. There is drama, risk taking and freedom all within a safe and structured creative container. Not all kids wish to be in the literal spotlight, and there are many creative ways to have them allow themselves focus and still have their words heard. I have seen it and it works. The anecdotes pile up and the kids continue to be volatile. They are not 'fixed,' but rather now have another way to cope and grow. One enormous, quiet sixteen year old wrote and presented his monologue for the first time this week. Standing tall on a stage between two girls, he expressed his anger, joy and relief that soaked his experience of wanting a loving home after his parents were killed. We then work together on projection and body language so he is at once dramatically speaking, distanced from his material, remains in his body, and effectively telling his truth. One of the girls nods her head and tears well up as a peer reads her poem on what foster parents should know. Then they all laughed as they shared normal high school boy-girl banter. It works. I'm seeing it. Adopted and fostered kids need as much creative attention back, as they demand from us. They want to be seen, heard, validated and given hope. They want a place to tell the stories that have made up their young lives, and seen on their own terms when it's safe to say who they are, are not and who they want to be. . . . .

Elaine Theodore, Ed.M., is the Director of the Lost and Found Company, and she is the Youth Development Specialist and Drama/Poetry Therapist with the Boston Institute for Arts Therapy. She consults through her company, Options. For more information, call (617) 288-5858, x29.